After she uses her safeword,
a good Dom needs to push down any
frustration or disappointment he initially feels and celebrate the moment. He should tell her how proud he is that she used it, that she protected herself from
him, that she brought him back to where he should have been.
Then he
needs to provide aftercare so she knows she was a good girl and didn’t
let him down.
Then he needs to take the time to reflect where he (not
she) went wrong. fucked up. Perhaps he didn’t know her as well as he thought. Perhaps he didn’t read the circumstances or her mood. Perhaps he missed signs that she wasn’t comfortable before she used it.
Yes I have had a sub use her safe word. In fact, I ‘force’ her to use it as part of initial training to make sure she will.
You should never be scared to use your word IF you are with a legitimate, caring Dom. I highly recommend you read the following articles. Some are free. Some will cost you a $2 subscription to access (plus you get access to loads of other advice and my my erotica posts).
Something I’d love to do one day is to have a binge-watching section or movie-marathon in a kinky fun style.
Here’s the idea.
I’d let you choose whatever we’re watching. I can do some research ahead, and save you the time by listing and recommending a few titles, but the final word would be entirely yours based on your mood and preferences. Whatever you’d decide, I’ll be happy with it.
Your comfort comes first. Which means, you can sit anywhere you want, have as many pillows and blankets as you want, wear whatever you’re feeling in the mood for (from your pajamas,
or old comfy hoodies
to no close at all). It’s all up to you.
I’d love nothing more than to pamper and serve you. Yes, that means you can take advantage of it as much as you want. And I’d love it, I swear. Here are some ideas of things you could make me do for you: ❤️ give you neck and shoulder massages; ❤️prepare, bring and serve you refreshments upon request; ❤️ serve you and hand you little bits of things (like berries and grapes) in your mouth; ❤️ play with your hair and gently massage your head; ❤️ give you long foot rubs (followed by kissed, if you’d let me).
If you get turned on at any point, I’d satisfy every one of your sexual needs. I’m your sex-slave, yours for you to use (and abuse!).That means, I’m there to please you, and I’ll do whatever it takes for you to have wonderful orgasm. If you want to take me inside of you and ride me, I’m yours (yes, please! hehe). You can be rough or gentle, I don’t care. If you want me to fuck you, I’ll do it until you explode. If you’re feeling horny but lazy, I’ll go down on my knees in front of you and start to eat you out, devouring you passionately, expecting nothing else in return other than your pleasure (I mean it!). I could eat you out intensely or slowly for hours until you cum on my mouth, whichever you prefer. Whatever you choose, though, your pleasure comes first. Always.
It can be as kinky as f*ck, but it’s not all about the kink. In other words, this is quality time, time we get to spend together. Perhaps it could even turn into a fun secret ritual, e.g. “every weekend night becomes kinky-Netflix-and-chill-night”. But most importantly, this is an opportunity for us to spend time together, build memories and enjoy each other’s company.
Of course this is just a general idea, and a lot of things could be added to the list based on personal preferences and moods.
In my case, for instance, some biting, slapping, scratching, playful teases and name calling are always welcome 🙈.
You can
also
always use this idea as a starting point for something else more kinky. For example, if you are into more intense games, you can add different types of challenges and dynamics to the scenario, like:
she gets to relax and watch series while he has to perform tasks and chores for her (e.g. clean and organize the house) during a period of time;
or, in this day, she gets to choose something for them to watch that she knows he’d hate (e.g. musicals) just to torture him but he’d still have to act grateful and eager;
if she gets turned on, she can please herself, or use his hand, in front of him, as a painful provocation, giving him nothing in return other than the pleasure of watching her;
she can be naked and make him wear clothes during the whole time, as a tease; or the opposite, i.e. make him be naked for her while she’s comfortably dressed as a way to expose him to her;
orgasm-wise, she can keep edging him over and over throughout the night, after every massage and service performed to her, or even during sex, after having established that he’d only be allowed to release himself at the end of the movie or series finale that they’re watching. She, on the other hand, can cum whenever and as many times as she wants. A fun-twist could include: make him obediently wait on his knees until all the credits roll over and you watch him struggle, in pure anxiety. He only gets to cum upon command, and has to wait for you permission. Once all the credits are over, it would only be a matter of seconds before you find him exploding in front of you after you squeeze him with your hands or apply pressure on his erected cock with your feet. Maybe, in the future, he’d be able to do that by simply staring in your eyes and listening to your voice.
Whatever you decide to do, remember: be safe and have fun!
P.S.: Feel free to reblog and add more ideas, if you think I’ve missed something out or if you’d like to add things you love to do (or would like to try one day) with your play-partner!
There are memes all over Facebook and Twitter, in people’s vanilla and family accounts, with quotes like, “Slap my ass, pull my hair, and buy me tacos.”
Maledom BDSM is officially mainstream. But Femdom is still kept so deep in the closet, it might as well be fucking Narnia.
And why?
Because misogyny, toxic masculinity and internalized misandry, that’s why.
Because a woman’s only acceptable role is submissive to a man. The only acceptable sexuality she can embrace is one of submission.
Because a man who submits is less of a man. A man who loves having his hair pulled, or being spanked, or being pegged, is inferior than a man who dominates a woman.
Fuck that.
We need to stop hiding this shit. Stop hiding who we are. Because things will never get better until we *make* them better.
We can’t wait for a series of poorly-written books to normalize who we are. We have to do it ourselves.
Tell people who you are. If you’re a woman, tell people you’re a Dominant. I, personally, will never attempt a romantic relationship with anyone who isn’t submissive ever again, so when people hit on me, I tell them that.
If you’re a man, tell people you like being spanked. Share those memes on your vanilla and family feeds. Don’t let the fear of other people’s opinions stop you. You’re not planning on sleeping with or marrying those people anyway, and the people who DO want to sleep with or marry you will have a much easier time finding you if you’re open about it.
50 Shades shoved Maledom down people’s throats so hard, it drowned out the psychos who insist that it’s unnatural, or abusive. The public was forced to accept it.
We don’t have books to give us that. And we may never have books to give us that. We need to do it ourselves.
We need to shove it down people’s throats until it becomes just as mainstream as Maledom. Until we can stop this sexist idea that women’s only acceptable role is to serve men, and men’s only acceptable role is to dominate women.
Tell everyone. If they get annoyed because you talk about it so much, that means you’re doing it right.
We have to talk about it until it becomes normal. We have to force people to accept it the way they were forced to accept Maledom.
We’re better than the sexist bullshit that keeps us afraid. We’re stronger than the people who will try to cut us down because we don’t fit in their little boxes.
It’s time to normalize Femdom. It’s time to stop catering to sexist people, with sexist ideas of who we should be.
Preach.
Normalize femdom and the existence of submissive males. ❤❤❤
I love this so much.
I’ve never really hidden from my family and friends but do have a tendency to hide from those I don’t trust because female dominance is seen as subversive even if it comes with no sexual kinks.
Teaseland 