oldenoughtobeyourfather:

This!  The answer to “who can you criticize for their weight / height / looks / boob size / dick size / ass size / health / intelligence / etc” isn’t “one” it’s “zero.”

It’s not ok to say that about anybody.  

Here’s another way to look at it.  Robert Downy Jr. of all people allegedly once said “worrying is praying for something you don’t want.”  I think complaining is basically the same thing.  Only sometimes with human sacrifice!  

Well.  Implicit in every complaint there’s something you do want.

Get the complaint out of the way as quickly as possible.  The more time you spend meticulously detailing faults the more time you’re spending not doing something positive.

Me?  I could spend time saying “I’m old as fuck, over the hill, ugly, wrinkly, still have the Jughead ears but don’t have the thick shock of Jughead hair…”

But every time I do I overlook that I can instead be a gracious, graceful, distinguished older gentleman.  

More to the point, every time I moped I overlooked the… encouraging number of fabulous, beautiful, sexy, kinky women who fucking love older men!  

Point being that if somebody loves you?  Thinks your hot?  Thinks you’re gorgeous? Wants to see you naked?  Wants to go out with you?  Keeps saying you’re crazy for not getting it?

Try on… just try it out for a day or a week… try on that maybe you’re the only one who’s insulting you.  (Well, except for not getting picked for kickball that time in 2nd grade… which… clue… 70-85% of the population implausibly remembers happening to them!!!!)  Try on… just try it out for a week… that maybe you’re the only one who’s crazy to think you’re not already a perfect older gentleman, or a perfect precious baby girl, or a perfectly delightful Sub, or an absolutely lovely Dom, or an awesome stud or angelic hot patootie!

Instead of listing and struggling with the things you’re bad at, take a little while to learn what you’re already great at.  And improve that instead!  You’re gonna spend the same amount of time either way – and either work your way up to mediocre for something that’s not so hot, or fucking fabulous at something you are!

Either way you’ll get more understanding and sympathy working towards something you can do something about than complaining about (praying for!) something you can’t.

The point of this little sermon is to explain why you can’t insult anyone including yourself.  It’s not about “should” or “shouldn’t.”  Though you shouldn’t.  Instead it’s that time spent insulting yourself about one thing is time spent not doing something fabulous!  Be fabulous.

Be excellent to yourself too, pumpkin.