instructor144:

phoenixwest:

instructor144:

Not at all. When I say “Who owns your orgasms?” and the girl responds “You own my orgasms,” it means something. It is real. They belong to me. If she steals a $20 out of my wallet, she has stolen something that belongs to me. If she steals an orgasm, she has stolen something that belongs to me. Stealing is stealing. Period. Full stop.

This isn’t a fucking game.

I admit, it is a hard concept to come to grips with from a modern standpoint…orgasm theft. We are taught from our earliest days in modern schools about the sanctity of the individual. “If it feels good, do it”. “Our bodies, ourselves”. “No one is more or less important than you are, we are all created equal”. With that understanding, the very concept of climaxing as “theft” is absurd..anti-feminist..hopelessly old fashioned.

However in modern D/s, part of that sanctity is surrendered by direct agreement. Most practitioners of D/s in the modern world (I would actually assume all but I hate to say “all”) don’t keep their subs collared or naked 24/7. Most (all) submissives deal with work, kids, daily life more or less just as non-submissives do. In most cases you can’t spot them waiting in on line at Starbucks (“There, the cute one with the nipple clamps and the spiked dog collar, kneeling by the Granola bar…totally subbie.”) What makes them submissive is not that that their lives are different, or that they are wearing some kind of overly-designed medieval torture device as an accessory…but that they have entered into an agreement with their Dominant. They agree to follow certain rules and give their Dominant certain rights in exchange for their Dominant assuming certain responsibilities. Put like that it sounds very business-like and formal but that is the heart of the matter. Quid pro quo. You must give to get.

Therefore to me, it is not so much that an orgasm was stolen (or 20 bucks out of @instructor144 – Senpai’s wallet disappeared, which I would like to stress I have NO knowledge of), but that the agreement was broken. As a symbol of her submission she gave up a certain privilege in their agreement…the right to orgasm without permission. It could be that she agrees to never wear white before labor day, it could be that she agrees to never drive on Sundays, it could be that she agrees to put the word Penguin at the end of every sentence….it doesn’t matter. What matters is the agreement. Once the agreement is broken, then the entire structure of her submission is shaken because all we really have between a Dom and a sub is trust. The assurance that Quid Pro Quo will be honored, even when no one would know except the submissive.

Once that confidence is broken, once a Dominant (or for that matter a submissive) hears that little voice in the back of their head asking “How do I KNOW they are not lying? How can I be sure with just their word?” then something far more vital then an orgasm has been stolen.

Trust has been stolen…and that is very, very hard to get back.

Damn, this is good commentary. And it gets right to the heart of it: an AGREEMENT was violated. ☝️☝️☝️